Molly Venter Lyrics

Albums:
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Molly Venter, 2004
Love Me Like You Mean It, 2006
7.7.7 Parkside Sessions, 2007
Love Me Like You Mean It, 2008
Goodnight Moonshine (with Eben Pariser, 2013)

Track Listings:
--------------
Molly Venter
 Sleep at Night
 Same Language
 Afraid You Don't Know
 30,000 Feet
 The Sorry Song
 Josh
 Upper Hand
 Walking Backwards
 Tornado
 Breaking Mine
 Like I'm Home
 Loud as He Can
 More Than I Take

Love Me Like You Mean It
 Great Ocean
 Love Me Like You Mean It
 Shaky Ground
 In the Snow
 Tonight I'm Waiting
 Closer To Me
 Good Mother
 Most Devoted Love
 Hello Fear
 Write You a Letter
 Sit Here
 What Is Your Soul Worth
 Carrying Your Child

7.7.7 Parkside Sessions
 Tarmac
 Happier Now
 Playing for Keeps
 Created by My Thoughts
 Stars
 How This Ends
 What Brings You Joy
 All My Bags Are Packed
 I Know You
 Can I Love a Man the Way I Love a Mountain

Love Me Like You Mean It
 Shaky Ground
 Love Me Like You Mean It
 Happier Now
 Write a Letter
 Tonight
 Great Ocean
 In the Snow
 Good Mother
 Playing for Keeps
 Real Anymore
 Hello Fear
 Stars

Goodnight Moonshine
 Work I Done (Venter)
 All Our Friends (Venter/Pariser)
 Big Enough (Pariser/Venter)
 Gasoline (Venter)
 Goodnight Moonshine (Venter)
 End of the World Blues (Pariser)
 Willow Tree (Pariser/Venter)
 Walking After Midnight (Block/Hecht)
 Light at the End of the Day (Venter/Pariser)
 Dark Side of the Rainbow (Pariser)
 Winston-Salem (Venter)

Lyrics:
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(Album titles preceded by ##, Song titles by --)

##
Molly Venter

--
Sleep at Night

She steps outside and takes a breath like it's the last breath before
she goes among the circus of performers with smiles on their faces and
says 'I don't belong here I don't belong here' Well she's marking off
her checklist and making conversation and forcing her smile today.
She cannot find a reason for her to be unhappy, but suddenly she's
lost for words to say.

And everybody feels like he doesn't belong among all the happy faces
sometimes And everybody feels like he's the only one who can't sleep
at night.

He hands her a strong drink, leans in too close for comfort before she
can say goodbye. Do you want to know a secret, learn to say I love
you without needing to hear a reply. Cause I have lost many friends,
there is only so much I can write in a letter and if I had to do over
again there is only one person I would have called and now, finish
your drink dear and I will walk you home, finish your drink dear and I
will walk you home.

In the hours before breakfast with the boys she is losing her patience
she is losing her poise. I am tired, she thinks, and I'm late. I
don't remember warm weather, thanksgiving's not forever. I used to
work pretty damn hard and now I don't know where I lost my ambition
but I just want to wake up one morning and not worry about my dress
size or my GPA or just how long it's been, just how long it's been.

And everybody feels like he doesn't belong among all the happy faces
sometimes, and everybody feels like he's the only one who can't sleep
at night.

It's not until she walks out far from any street light she
notices her hands are tied, it's not until the wind stops that she
knows by her own breath she needs to be alone to sigh and it's strange
how thick silence feels in the air, oh and it's strange how thick
silence feels in the air.

And everybody feels like... everybody feels like....

And I, I'll let you walk alone he says, but I'd rather take you home
to bed and she thinks well it'd be so nice to go home with somebody,
yes it'd be so nice to go home with somebody, tonight.

--
Same Language

Take me or leave me or you will lose me tonight. Don't know what
you're thinking, when you started this fight. And you're always just
about to fall asleep. And I'm always 'bout to ask you what you mean.
Your head runs in circles, but you don't think out loud, and I say
I'll be patient and I will try not to crowd. Do you think you're
going to hurt me if you tell me you're confused, are you afraid you're
going to lose me if you say you need some room.

I will try to sort things out. No one dreams in the same language and
it's hard to figure out and I will try to translate words as long as
you're the only one I ever want to wake to.

You say don't get emotional, then I want to cry. You only get angry
when I start to run outside. And it's too late for you to hold me
once my tears have sprung, and it's too late to say you're sorry, I'm
hurt I hold a grudge.

I will try to sort things out, no one dreams in the same language and
it's hard to figure out and I will try to translate words as long as
you're the only one I ever want to wake to.

You think of the future and wonder where you'll be months from now.
And I tell you don't think so hard, you'll wear yourself out. If you
let me take you dancing, well I promise to show you a good time, or
I'll make faces for you to laugh at, I just want to see you smile.
You know it's as easy as you told me, just find what makes you happy
now. And I don't pretend to be humble when I say we both know that's
me.

And I will try to sort things out, no one dreams in the same language.
And I will try to translate words, as long as you're the only one I
ever want to wake to.

--
Afraid You Don't Know

I just hung up the phone and I'm still smiling ear to ear and it's ten
minutes for my spells of laughing fits to disappear. My friends here
all smile at me and say now who was that on the phone, and I say,
that's just my best friend from home. And I can't remember now what
made me so upset before, but you eased my mind, said Jesus Moll that's
what it's all for. Don't ever feel guilty for not walking away,
you're the only one who knows how you feel, you'll find your own way.
I remember on the bathroom floor, we were maybe sixteen, you said,
don't go, I don't want you to leave. We were drunk, we were sobbing
we were out of our minds, but how fondly I remember it all from time
to time.

I'm afraid that you don't know cause I forget to call and I'm afraid
you don't know cause I forget to write just to say I'm alive just to
say I'm still alive.

In the past it's been you on the
phone, saying I don't know where to go, I can't go home, you said you
always make it so much better with what you say, I wish I could do the
same thing for you if you'd let me someday. Now it's me on the phone
in the car in the rain, and I say, help me I think I'm going insane.
I feel all tied down by these invisible weights. You see it's always
you I come back to with my pain.

And I'm afraid that you don't know cause I forget to call and I'm
afraid you don't know 'cause I forget to call and I'm afraid you don't
know cause I forget to write just to say I'm alive, just to say I'm
still alive.

I was gonna wait to write this song 'till like one of us got married,
but at this rate you'll be living in my attic 'till were forty -- or
it could be the other way around. But Aunt Julie, Aunt Julie, why's
she so crazy, does she really have to live up in our attic? So I
stand back now wondering how and why this friendship has emerged, and
I don't think I that could ever really find the right words to express
how lucky I feel, oh how very, very lucky I feel.

And I'm afraid... you don't know.

--
30,000 Feet

I'm sitting alone at the bottom of the stairs, pretending to read with
my head in my hands, and there's this pain in my stomach, that I know
I can contain. I'm just sitting alone at the bottom of the stairs,
and my self defenses are telling me not to care, they say you're
stronger than this, you're stronger than most. I'm sitting alone at
the bottom of the stairs, wondering if I should have said more. If
for once I could have opened my mouth and let down my guard. But no
one can crack me I am like a stone, because that way it doesn't hurt
so much when it's dropped, and no one can come in unless I want them
to.

I'm not gonna cry. I'm not gonna cry, not over you, anymore.

A year ago today we sat down beside Sam, and you said that we needed
to talk, we were stupid, and I think now that I just liked the urgency
of your voice. And I'm sorry that when you told me you cared, I
replied because you knew that I didn't, but did you know that I tried?
I just didn't want to lose the heart that you might have seen in me.
You said I was flying at 30,000 feet, and you were right cause I was
but now I have fallen for the first person I believe could love me and
still be my friend. This is not a love song, it's not even about you,
but somehow you spoke to me at just the right time, and I started on
your twelve step program, and now you've left me alone.

I'm not gonna cry. I'm not gonna cry, not over you, anymore.

We were not meant to be so I'm closing this chapter. In case we were
wondering, this is our answer, and I only hope I've shown you as much
as you have shown me. Don't look so funny, I don't mean to be a
downer, I still need you to laugh, I still want you to talk to and I
don't feel alone now but if I did I'd be standing alone. Cause you
opened me up, and I bled, it was good for me. I bet you are smiling
and that's all I want. It's hard to admit that I have been cracked,
so you can finish my sentence, now. Oh.... I'll wake up and call you
tomorrow, or you'll call me tomorrow, and you will get through.

--
The Sorry Song

Now I won't ask for your forgiveness, 'cause I know that it's hard for
you too, but I just want to say I'm sorry, and I wish I knew myself
better, better. It's like my friends, they told me Sunday morning,
I'm here, I see where I'm going, but there's a mountain in my way. I
guess I've known that longer than I will admit, but I thought that I
could get there on my own.

And do you know how to tell people you need them, and do you know the
best way to say you're sorry....

Now I'll keep taking walks by myself, that's who I am and I know that
it helps, and I'll try to listen to all of the hard questions, and I
won't be afraid to say I can't figure it all out.

And do you know, how to tell people you need them, and do you know the
best way to say you're sorry.... Cause I'm sorry.

--
Josh

I think that my footsteps were too straight for you to follow growing
up. And the times you did well things that I did wrong didn't earn
you that much praise because of the times you followed your feet right
off the map. And I don't know how you forgave me for always having to
be right. Or why you never hit me when you grew too big for me to
pick the fights. In the back seat of our car, on the way to
Pennsylvania, you'd pretend to read and I'd try not to laugh. I'd
boss you around and you'd scratch at my arms, so it's taken me
eighteen years to realize, all this time you've been my better half.
And I felt my stomach sink when I heard her tell you to study more
like me. You're the one who's good at talking, but I'm trying to make
them see. So now we go to the movies, and you point at all the faces
and say, I can be like that, and I say you you don't have to tell me.
And I know they think you're star struck, but I'm telling you right
now, don't lose the one thing you are passionate about. And I don't
know how you'll pull your way through this, but I can't fast forward
you through there, the more you keep them laughing I think the less
that they will try to compare.

--
Upper Hand

Well the upper hand is a funny thing 'cause it disappears like your
car keys if you're careless. I was on the upside once, but I'm on the
flipside now, and it's getting pretty lonely down here. And we don't
have to go to Paris this year. I have suspended my disbelief for too
many nights now and it's all come crashing down. And as my head hits,
my heart is broken cause you haven't spoken a word. Every time I get
my breath back I am more callused than I was the day before, and maybe
today I will be too tough to let you back into my world. Well I won't
pretend that I don't get sad when you say my name without smiling,
like you used to. And I won't pretend that I'm not afraid to walk out
the door and get over you like I think I have to. But don't, don't
let me walk away this time 'cause I am not ready to close the book on
us just yet, just yet. And oh, I keep wondering why I have so many
more sad songs than happy ones, and I look for where the disjuncture
lies between how I can feel for you and how I do feel today. And I
promised my friends that I will not be hurt again. And I promised
myself that I will not, I will not be hurt again. A little over a
year we've both thrown so much bullshit each other's way. And I have
no claim to say that anything will change, and what I don't know is if
I need to be alone. And I... I'm so scared you'll find a girl. And
if anything is evident in all that I have come to claim, it's that I
am so confused. If anything is evident in all that I have come to
say, it's that I am so still in love with you. We don't have to go to
Paris this year....

--
Walking Backwards

I am walking backwards and I'm listening to the rain. I'm waiting for
the lightning 'cause I don't believe it can't strike the same place
again. And I'm trying to remember how to be the bigger one. I'm
searching for a rulebook to tell me if we're supposed to be done. I'm
not asking you for all of the answers but do you want to stay with me.
Cause we are getting shy now 'cause we are both guilty of uncertainty.

I don't know what else to say in times like this. We've been down
this road and I don't want to have to talk about forgiveness.

When you give me that look I feel like my dog when he puts his head
down, he puts his ears down 'cause he knows he's done something and he
doesn't understand it but he's been yelled at like that before. I
don't want to be yelled at. I don't want to scolded today, and I'm
sorry I don't remember last night but don't put your wall up again.
Cause It gets harder to break down with every time you build it up,
and you get harder to break into, and I can't tell if I'm supposed to
give up.

I don't know what else to say in times like this. We've been down
this road and I don't want to have to talk about forgiveness.

Then you say to me, when I'm standing by your bed to say goodbye,
don't just sit against the window looking all sad. You're supposed to
reach out and hold my hand, at least say thanks for coming by, then
lean forward and try to kiss me one more time before I leave. Well
that's what I'm doing, I'm sticking my neck out like you said, so
maybe we need a break, or you need some space, but I need you to talk
to me. Cause I get flashes where we're laughing, and I feel like it's
all right, and I get flashes where I'm crying, and you just turn your
head and sigh. I don't know what else to say in times like this.

We've been down this road and I don't want to have to talk about, I
don't want to have to talk about forgiveness. I won't take you for
granted but don't take me for stupid when you tell me nothing's
wrong....

--
Tornado

I had a teacher who told me, you'll write about something, 'till you
run out of words. These days it feels like that's true, cause you're
all that I write on, like I'm flushing my system of you. I think of
how you laugh at me when I'm funny and flustered as I try to explain
all the things I never say. All the things I never say.

Where do we go from here when we're searching for answers. I cannot
reach you, three thousand miles is too long to try to figure us out.
So I'm spinning alone in the dark.

I try to get it all down, but every word that I write sounds like
something you just said. And I wish I could tell you to trust me,
that I could see down the road any better than you can. And you say
time. You say time.

Where do we go from here when we're searching for answers, I cannot
reach you. Cause three thousand miles is too long to try to figure us
out, so I'm spinning alone in the dark.

You call up to tell me how you think that we are too similar, I say
what does that mean, cause I know we both think a lot and I thought I
was stubborn but you're never wrong. I'm trying to change, and you're
trying to change.

Where do we go from here when we're searching for answers. I cannot
reach you . Three thousand miles is too long to try to figure us out,
so I'm spinning alone in the dark.

Maybe I came to California to prove that I could and to say that I'd
lived here but I, I want to see all these places but I just figured
out I want to see them with you. So I write a tornado of all the
things I never say. All the things I never say.

--
Breaking Mine

At seventeen I found the friend I base my friendships on and I guess
base my relationships on too. We laugh so hard that I forgot what the
word boyfriend meant till I woke up and remembered it's not you.

I know that you think I am the strongest girl you know, so I can't
break your heart by telling you you're breaking mine.

Now you're in love, and I'm so confused because I feel like I said no,
and while I can't tell you what I want, I'm afraid to let you go. I
sat down to write one hundred times that I'm sorry, when I realized
I'm not sorry, I'm just scared. And I can't tell you because I can't
tell the difference between what is comfortable and where I need you
in my life.

I know that you think I am the strongest girl you know, so I can't
break your heart by telling you you're breaking mine.

Now you're in love, you write her poems, and I feel like I've been
replaced, but I know if I were in love, I'd still write you everyday.

I know that you think I am the strongest girl you know, so I can't
break your heart by telling you you're breaking mine.

And I should have told you before the feeling slipped away that I
wanted you to kiss me in the Berkshires on your birthday. And I'm not
as strong as I'd have you believe.

--
Like I'm Home

This is the first time that I can't reach out and reel my feelings in,
and my head is working overtime to find out why. I don't know you
that well and I'm scared of feeling out of control and I'm scared that
one day I'll wake up to need you.

But yesterday I resolved to open up the floodgates, the floodgates of
my heart. When you're lying here beside me, and you tell me I feel
good, well I feel like I'm home.

Now I feel myself falling, and I don't try to stop it, there are no
red flags in my head. It's not that I'm invincible, I know I'm not
invincible, but maybe I don't care if I get hurt.

Yesterday I resolved to open up the floodgates, the floodgates of my
heart. When you're lying here beside me, and you tell me I feel good,
well I feel like I'm home.

You know it's hard for me to say how I feel, like it's hard for me to
cry in front of anyone, so sometimes when I act in ways that throw you
to the ground, well you know I haven't got it sorted out, but thank
you for being patient. Now I won't say I need you, and I can't say I
love you, so I'll just say I miss you when you're gone. Sometimes
before you wake up in the morning, I'll hold your hand and realize
there's so much more to know.

Yesterday I resolved to open up the floodgates, the floodgates of my
heart. When you're lying here beside me, and you tell me I feel good,
well I feel like I'm home, like I'm home.

--
Loud as He Can

I go into a bar on a Sunday night, sign up after a man I see singing
on a street corner, and I look into the window to catch my reflection,
like it matters if my hair is up or down.

He sings as loud as he can tonight, and I, I can hardly understand
him. Yes he sings as loud as he can tonight, and I, I can hardly
understand him.

He is stomping one foot and it's muffled in the microphone, I look to
see if anyone is listening. When I get up someone turns and I hear
them say, well she's got a voice on her, and it's easy when everyone
is listening.

He sings as loud as he can tonight, and I, I can hardly understand
him. Yes he sings as loud as he can tonight, oh and I, I can hardly
understand him.

He gives me a light without my even asking and says, you sounded
beautiful tonight. I have learned to be wary of a poor man's advance,
but there's something in the air that's telling it's OK to smile and
say,

You sang as loud as you could tonight, and I could hardly understand
you. Yes you sang as loud as you could tonight, I guess I didn't
understand you.

Well I never got the answer I was looking for, it's just the only way
to make sense of his day. And it's the voice of the voiceless calling
to me tonight. Yes it's the voice of the voiceless calling me out.

--
More Than I Take

Anne pulls and tugs at her shirt, like she's walking in somebody
else's clothes. She starts to hum a sad, sad song cause she knows
that now it's time to go back home. It won't be the same now Annie,
you'll make choices but you won't feel so assured. So if you want to
tell me something, say it now, cause it'll be harder when we're gone.
I thought I knew everything when I got out of high school. So much
about people, so much about friendships, and when it's OK to break the
rules. A couple years later, I get a slap in the face, cause nobody
feels the same hurt, nobody talks the same way. Misunderstanding,
I've felt left out, but most times I'm so happy I don't want to come
down. So I try to psych myself up, think of adventures yet to come,
but I get an oppressively lonesome feeling by the vision of my empty
room.

And I know I have made mistakes, but I hold my head up and
learn to give more than I take. And I am not ashamed to cry on
shoulders, ask for hugs, and just depend upon my friends.

Years back you drove me up here, took a picture by my door. You
handed me a bible, but we never went to church before. And it's like
that with so many things, I've got it stuffed into a bag somewhere, I
haven't read a page, but I won't forget I put it there. It's hard
when you try to give me so much help cause I know you're worried, but
I'm scared too and I am harder on myself. So if you treat me like I'm
older, I will treat you like I'm older, not some headstrong little
adolescent girl. Because all that I am and all that I have, you
passed on me, now on my own terms I am equipped to face the world.
And all my life I've been running hard and fast, like a stupid cartoon
road-runner ignoring what I pass. Now I see a drop off, and I dig my
heels in, and I throw my weight back and come screeching to a halt.
And so wavering on the edge, looking on some great divide, I find I'm
too afraid to jump, if you push me I might fly. And all your life
you've been walking the straight line, now the road has split wide
open and you've got so much to decide. So if the pressures in your
head start getting loud you may not know it but you still make your
family proud. You can't be everything. You can't please everyone,
but you can be anything you put your mind to. So let go of the guilt,
let go of your pride, hold on tighter to your heart, it's the
beginning of the rest of your life....

And I know I have made mistakes, but I hold my head up and learn to
give more than I take. And I am not ashamed to cry on shoulders, ask
for hugs, and just depend upon my friends....

So I turn to my mom and I turn to my dad, and I want to say thank you,
I want to say thank you, because all that I am and all that I have you
passed on me now with your love, I'll do my best to face the world.

##
Love Me Like You Mean It (2006)

--
Great Ocean

Highway 20 all the truck stops look the same
Well the sign is flashing apple pie and propane
I have driven seven hours today and I still got four to go
I'm writing on the dashboard, taking pictures out the window

They tell me the mountains still crumble and fall
Even the desert gets cold when the night calls
I am running short on places to hide
Oh great ocean won't you stay this wide. Hey....

There's so much to uncover I don't know where to begin
So I try to get quiet, I try to drop back in
We build all these great big lights to keep the darkness out
And we make so much noise that no one hears you shout

They tell me the mountains still crumble and fall
Even the desert gets cold when the night calls
I am running short on places to hide
Oh great ocean won't you stay this wide. Hey....

Oh and just when I think of turning back and cutting my losses
Well the telephone poles are stretchin' out like crosses
I don't know much about being a Christian, but I know I am being led on
A thousand searching artists can't all be wrong.

They tell me the mountains still crumble and fall
Oh, and even the desert gets cold when the night calls
I am running short on places to hide....
Oh great ocean won't you stay this wide.
And oh great ocean, oh great ocean.
And oh great ocean, oh great ocean. Hey....

--
Love Me Like You Mean It

You hold your cards in and look away
I guess that means it's my turn
You hold me with fierceness and you pull away early
As though you could keep yourself from getting burned

Well love me like you mean it, like it's the only thing you need
I'm not holding back on you so don't you hold back on me

Well you can make my ears ring, baby
Without making any sound
You creep up to the edge of saying something
Then you balk and you back down

Well love me like you mean it, like it's the only thing you need
I'm not holding back on you so don't you hold back on me

Do you think you can save yourself
If this ship goes down?
If we start taking on water, we don't stick together
We're both gonna drown. Down down down....

I could be your estranged father
Or your one night stand
I could be your unborn baby
Even if you never get to hold my hand

Well love me like you mean it, like it's the only thing you need
Cause I'm not holding back, I'm not holding back
So don't you hold back on me.
I'm not holding back on you, so don't you hold back on me.

--
Shaky Ground

I'm thinking out loud, I'm talking in circles, without taking a pause
I am over stimulated and intoxicated by the applause
I've been stepping on land mines and running straight into things
Now I am broken down, I am broken up, and there's no one to save me.

I'm sorting through junk mail, sorting out lies I've come to believe
All my fingers are shaking as I rip the nail off with my teeth
And I've got good friends around me, so close I would throw a stone
Oh, I've trouble relating when I'm self-medicating and alone

And I guess I'm taking this slow, I'm on shaky feet on shaky ground
And I guess I've got a lot more to know about leaving a battlefields alone.

I'm calling on God, I'm calling my doctor and nearly everyone I know
They all tell me the same thing, they say it's the only way you're gonna grow
Well sometimes I believe it, but still I'm overwhelmed by everything small
Oh it's not for lack of blessings, I've got no lack of anything at all

I guess I'm taking this slow, I'm on shaky feet on shaky ground
And I guess I've got a lot more to know about leaving a battlefields alone.

And all of my life I have been having these crazy dreams
All of my life I have been living in extremes
I am either the smartest or the slowest, the bravest or most weak
Oh when in truth I am just somewhere in between

And I guess I'm taking this slow, I'm on shaky feet on shaky ground
And I guess I've got a lot more to know about leaving a battlefields alone.
Hallelujah, halleluhah....
Hallelujah, halleluhah....

--
In the Snow

It's getting on late in the winter
And I'm getting to feel like I don't want to go
Cause I like the way you look me in the eye
And the way the mountains look in the snow

Did you look up when I sang Romeo and Juliet?
Did you know that I was thinking about us
And how timing is as important as the people that you meet
When it comes to turning friendship into love?

And we were sitting on two big red rubber balls
When I stuttered out -- I like being around you --

And you got shifty-eyed and said -- it's comfortable
I know that this is comfortable -- and I said -- no
I really like being around you

When we're walking down the street, we take the same length stride
You put your arm over my shoulder and say --
You're the perfect size, but it could never be this way
Cause what would people say -- then you take it back and admit that
It would have been great if you had spoken sooner

And I stick my lower lip out, trying to look like some puppy all alone
How can you stand there and not want to take me home
But I guess you have more baggage than I fully understand and you said --
Take me off that pedestal, I'm just a simple man. --

And we are siting on two big red rubber balls, and I ask
Do you mind when I hang around you?

And you said you must know how I feel but you're a complicated deal and
I say fine, I still want to hang around you
Is this crazy, will you think it strange if I write letters?
Cause You have changed me and I want to know you better

I hear you say, quit the dramatics, remember you're over it
But I'm not yet, but I know I could be, I'm just a hopeless romantic

It's getting on late in the winter
And I'm getting to feel like I don't want to go
Cause I like the way you look me in the eye
And the way the mountains look in the snow, in the snow
And the way the mountains look in the snow

--
Tonight I'm Waiting

Tough little girl I am quick to throw it back
You like giving me shit just to see me react
And you're always surprised when I take it to heart
You ask, "Why's that piece of your mind not connect to the other part?"
And I giggle at the things that I might fool this hotel on
I could sneak out a cracker, they wouldn't know that it was gone
You say, "You're like a little kid in the way that you think"
And I am put off, because I don't get it's a good thing
I am put off, because I don't get it's a good thing. Yeah....

Tonight I am waiting. Tonight I am waiting
Tonight I am waiting for something in my head to change

And I trip on my guitar case, your laughter breaks the ice
We crawl into bed like children under dim fluorescent lights
And I am curled up on the other side of this big wide bed
And I wish I had the guts to reach out for your hand
I wish I had the guts to reach out for your hand. Yeah....

Tonight I am waiting. Tonight I am waiting
Tonight I am waiting for something in my head to change

What I learn about myself is I feel solid as a friend
When I am worried you won't like me, I am so quick on the defense
What I learn about myself is I can tell you things that make me cry
When I think you're going to kiss me, I won't look you in the eye
Won't look you in the eye.
And I tell you these are issues, and you just laugh and shrug
So I sleep on my side, but I dream we made love
And then in the morning I didn't want you to leave and I feel crazy
But I guess I'm not as grown up as I seem. I feel crazy
And I am not as grown-up as I try to be. Yeah....

Tonight I am waiting. Tonight I am waiting
Tonight I am waiting for something in my head to change

Oh, tonight I am waiting. Tonight I am waiting
Tonight I am waiting for something in my head to change

--
Closer To Me

Your eyes they undo me, you talk so nice
It felt like you already knew me
In that warm sun light
We've had two conversations
Maybe three if you count the dance
And I moved without reservations
When you took my hand

So please come closer to me
Come and stand right here
I can keep my hands to myself
Just wanna feel you near

And it cuts to my center
Is takin up all this need
And I felt like climbing to the top of the hillside
To scream, scream, scream, and scream and scream

So please come closer to me
Come and stand right here
I can keep my hands to myself
Just wanna feel you near
I wanna feel you

Now I watch you with your lover
She fits you just right
So maybe you were my brother
In another life

So please come closer to me
Come and stand right here
I can keep my hands to myself
Just wanna feel you near
I wanna feel you near
Wanna feel you near

--
Good Mother

Would you understand me, oh, if I could not speak?
Would you feed me supper if I got too weak?
Would you drive six hours just to watch me sit and stare?
If I got to that point, oh, would I even care, would I even care?

So what is the essence of this soul, when the years have taken their toll?
I am afraid trapped in this broken mind
And all you can do is just be kind to me. Be kind....

If I looked right through you would you still know that I'm there?
If I lost my footing would you help me up the stair?
Would you lead me back to bed if I wandered in the night?
And if they came to take me from you would I put up a good fight?
Would I put up a good fight?

So what is the essence of this heart?
Love is the one thing I can take with me to the dark
And I am alone trapped in this broken mind
And all you can do is just be kind to me. Be kind....

Would you know my grandkids, 'bout the way I used to be?
Would you know my children, you all carry part of me?
Would you know my husband, you're the true love of my life?
Would I rest in knowing I was a good mother and good wife?
Good mother and good wife?

So what is the essence of this life?
Can you still feel a joy beneath the cutting of the knife?
And I see you scared trapped in those pretty working minds
And all we can do is just be kind. Just be kind....

--
Most Devoted Love

Come back to my room
You leave your socks on the floor
And some times you snore
But you can stay, you can stay here from now on

And I, I will be your Rock of Gibraltar when you call on me
You have always been my front porch light
And I'm not gonna pretend stuff that used to annoy me
Don't anymore, cause you know that it does
I am ready to be your most devoted love

So come back to my room
There are things on the outside,
Things we can't hide from each other anymore
And I... I will be on your right side when the sun comes up
I will be there when the world turns cold
And I'm not gonna pretend that my heart still
Don't get shaky and scared, you know that it does
I am ready to be your most devoted love

Whoooo whoooo who in the way
Whooo aoww way aoww
You reel me in when I'm drifting off
Alone and irate
You laugh with me
When you catch me trying to sound smart

And I, well I know your walk from a hundred yards away
I know the way your mouth gets when you're trying to think hard
And I don't have to pretend my body still feels it
When you're near me, you know that it does
And I am ready to be your most devoted love
I am ready to be your most devoted love.

--
Hello Fear

Hello envy, welcome in, I'm tired of fighting you my fickle friend
You confound me but you're there just the same
Every time I bury you, you pop up in my face again
Oh....

Hello craving, pounding at my door
I can scream back til my head gets sore
But it makes you stronger, and it bleeds me dry
Oh and it sets me up for feeling like a failure every night
Oh....

And hello greed, I know you're here too
I'm done with putting other names on you
Like a tight-fisted or penny wise
Or "There's not enough to go around" -- it's all part of the lies I tell
Oh....

And hello loneliness, you're no fun. But I'm gonna let you
run your course from now on. Oh this sadness, oh this pain
Well I think I'll be facing you over and over and over and over again
Hey....

Well hello happiness, hello joy. I've been clinging on to you like
my favorite toy. But the longer I chase you, the longer you evade
Oh and the more I hoard you to myself the more you slip away
Oh....

And hello Fear. You always been here
My guess is you will stay forever
You make me crazy, you tell me lies
But I know you keep me safe some of the time
Hey....
Hey....

--
Write You a Letter

I would write you a letter, one hundred pages long
I would knit you a sweater, so you could see the time I spent on it
And I would make you five dozen cookies, all your favorite kinds
I would wrap them up and send them as fast as I could
So you would get them in time

And I don't know why we don't work. I don't know why we don't work.
I don't know why we're still hurting, or why we keep trying long
after it stopped working. It stopped working

I would paint you a picture, oh as tall as the walls of your house
I would fly out your sister, to surprise you when you're feeling down
And if I could have just one more phone call, I'd sure call you today
Oh, but you've got love waiting, you've got your own adventure
And I think I'd just be in the way.

And I don't know why we don't work. I don't know why we don't work.
And I don't know why we're still hurting, or why we keep trying long after
It stopped working. It stopped working

I would sing you a love song, oh the kind you always wished I would write
Oh this is what I got, it's for the heavens to hear me
Cause my heart is breaking tonight

And I don't know why we don't work. I don't know why we don't work.
And I don't know why we're still hurting, or why we keep trying long after
It stopped working. It stopped working

Hey....

--
Sit Here

Drivin the backroads of hill country
My station turned to NPR
It's 3:30 in the morning
And I could cry, but I'm not tired
Cause I don't keep normal hours anymore
I stop in to use the bathroom
At some pit-stop 7-11
And man that store just shines
Like a kid in a toy store
I am up and down the aisle
From our impulsive purchase power
They are building an empire
And we are a culture of marketing quick fixes
And I am the ultimate consumer
I buy cigarettes, diet soda,
Some sugared meal replacement bar
I have not lost my sense of humor

And the real test, the real test
Is just learning how to sit here
The real test is to feel the hole in my chest
And just let the wind blow
Cause I wanna get messed up to try
To cover up the fear that's drivin me
And I wanna stun myself sick
And pass out real quick
So that I don't have to feel so empty

And you and I we would feed off our desire
Cause it would get us so damn high
I used to need you like a drug
And nights I waited for you to come home
And I felt like I was gonna explode
But the truth is I did not know how to love
And I sit down to write your birthday card
And finally realize less is more
And besides at this point everything's been said
I am sad and I am fearful
I licked the stamp and got real tearful
Will these thoughts ever leave my head?

And the real test, the real test
Is just learning how to sit here
The real test is to feel the hole in my chest
And just let the wind blow
Cause I wanna get messed up to try
To cover up the fear that's driving me
And I wanna stun myself sick
And pass out real quick
So that I don't have to feel so empty

And now there's this girl singing up on stage
And she looks about my age
And her words come out so eloquent and true
I stop dead in my tracks
I'm shocked at my reaction
Cause I'm inspired but thinking
It undermines what I do
And I flip-flop between feeling
That I ought to be some next big thing
And that I fear they will discover me as a fake
And I say I don't care about win or lose
But I'm petrified to make one bad move
If I let it go would I discover that I am safe

And the real test
Is just learning how to sit here
To feel the hole in my chest
And just let the wind blow
And I'm not gonna get messed up to try
To cover up the fear that's driving me
And I won't stun myself sick
And pass out real quick
So that I don't have to feel so empty

I'm not going to do it just for today.

--
What Is Your Soul Worth

Looking at my feet, sitting in the street
Picking up the language from the people that I meet
I'm moving slower now
Guess that's why I came
And I don't know how I ever had the wherewithal
To know to stay

Back home the men are swarming, raised since they were boys
So it feels like a game, to see who's left with all the toys
I've read the words of those who gave it up to follow a call
And I reread it now cause I'm lonely and lost and small

They write what is your soul worth, what is your soul worth,


My latest line of questioning, she met it with a hug
Hands pressed on my back, keeping me from cracking up
I cried what if this is selfish,
What happens when the money runs out?
And she said, baby you've been giving of yourself,
You know it always comes around

Besides what is your soul worth, what is your soul worth,
What is your soul worth? Do you think you get more than one?

My father was a wanderer, a lover of the waves
My father was an architect before he got straight
And took a job and bought a house
Saved up for my brother and me
And oh my father I am grateful
But I cannot choose the same thing

And what is my soul worth, what is my soul worth,
What is my soul worth? Do you think you get more than one?

What is our soul worth, what is our soul worth
What is our soul worth, and do you think we get more than one?

--
Carrying Your Child

She is carrying your child
Do you know this?
She is carrying your child
You understand what that means?
Means each time you deface her
You're burying a piece of your dreams

She is carrying your hope
Can you see it?
She is carrying your hope
And sometimes it looks like rain
So don't go boarding up your windows
She's blowing in all the winds of change

She's carrying your grief
She can take it
She's carrying your grief
She can take all the grief in the world
If you trust her to hold it
Baby she will make you a pearl

Oh... hey....

She's carrying your joy,
Can you feel it?
She's carrying your joy,
It's in everything that you touch
If you open your heart to her
I swear it will feel like too much

She is offering completeness,
Will you take it?
She is offering completeness,
And you don't have to give to receive
And she says I am here in your longing
So let it burn and it will bring you back to me

Hey....

##
7.7.7 Parkside Sessions

--
Tarmac

You met me on the tarmac, saying
Now that I've got you here there ain't no turning back
I smile and kiss your mouth, thinking
That's right baby, you got me for right now

You read it on my face, and say
You'll never be monogamous, you can't stay in one place
Well you can call it ugly names
But could it be for right now we just don't want the same thing

I don't have to make you see right now
I don't have to make you see right now
I won't show you all the why's or how's
I don't have to make you see right now

We talk like we're best friends
And our love-making is better than it's ever been but
I feel your body getting guarded, cause
You know I ain't one for the telephone and
I am leaving in the morning

I don't have to make you see right now
I don't have to make you see right now
I won't show you all the why's or how's
I don't have to make you see right now

Right now. oooo.....
Oooow....

I don't have to make you see right now
I don't have to make you see right now
I won't show you all the why's or how's
Like how how long before I can stray
Cause don't you remember, baby
I ain't asking you to wait
I ain't asking you to wait

You have always been all ears
I crash in laughing singing, spouting off all my ideas
You never know when I'll be coming through
But you keep opening up your arms and I keep falling into you

--
Happier Now

My lips are thin but they're mine
My legs are not so thin but they work just fine
So I am through with thinking on what I lack
I have felt such relief ever since I cut myself some slack

I am happier now
Want to scream it in the sunshine,
Even when the rain pours down
I am happier now
only thing that changed is
I give thanks for everything around me, everything around

I used to blame my mom and dad
How they didn't really see me, how they
Didn't see my sadness
They tried hard but I still felt all this pain
My childhood wasn't perfect, truth is ain't no such thing

I am happier now
Want to scream it in the sunshine,
Even when the rain pours down
I am happier now
Only thing that changed is
I give thanks for everyone around me, everyone around

For a long time I lived in fear
Oh that you might come to know me, not just how I appeared
But you loved me through my darkest night so black
And once I let it in I couldn't help but turn and love you back

I am happier now
Want to scream it in the sunshine,
Even when the rain pours down
I am happier now
Only thing that changed is
I felt your faith and I will come around, that I have come around

I am, I am, I am, and I am, I am, I am, ehmm...

--
Playing for Keeps

I first saw you smile, when you came to hear me sing
I've been watching you for a while, you finally saw me
You said you'd drive me home, we wound up in your bed
You asked me what I wanted, I just shook my head

I don't pretend that we will be playing for keeps but I hold on
You showed me how badly, how badly my body wants to love someone
Oh...

What am I to you, what are you to me
I don't hardly know you but I'm giving you my body
I told you I was afraid, then we fell asleep
And somehow in the morning it still feels like you love me

I don't pretend that we will be playing for keeps but I hold on
You showed me how badly, how badly my body wants to love someone
Oh...

You kiss me on the face, you're wanting me to speak
You don't let me look away so you feel me getting weak
You can watch me cry, but I will hold my words
My eyes will tell the story of all my past
Lovers? lovers. and how I am holding on

You showed me how badly, how badly my body wants to love someone
Oh...

--
Created by My Thoughts

When I fall into a love, the kind that we have known
It's hard for me to remember, I kind of liked being alone
It's hard to forget, the way you could sometimes make me feel
The way you loved me rotten
When I had almost forgotten it was possible to heal

Oh...

I can't sleep so I am standing, by the window and I'm angry
At myself for missing something that's so new
But I see you in three days and we are past that early stage
I've even started finding things I think are wrong with you

I know now, I know now that you were created by my thoughts
I know now that we were brought together to re-write some history we forgot
Oh....

In a bout of arrogance I had myself convinced
That I could not think a thought that wasn't true
So as I watch myself go crazy, I try not to blame you baby
It's the best that I can do

I know now, I know now that you were created by my thoughts
I know now that we were brought together to re-write some history we forgot
Oh....

--
Stars

In the night I met an angel
He came and hovered awful near
He put his fingers on my eyelids
And I swear I disappeared
I felt freedom, I felt lightness
I felt scared for him to go
But then he whispered, child I can't tell
You nothing
You don't already know

Hey... this is all made up of stars
Hey... we got magic in our hearts

So when the storm hits, and the sea spits
We're all looking for to blame
When the truth is tides are shifting cause
Times they are always a changing

Hey... this is all made up of stars
Hey... we got magic in our hearts
Hey...

I go traveling cross the country,
Round the world for some insight
When the one tree in this courtyard
Just turned purple overnight

Hey... this is all made up of stars
Hey... we got magic in our hearts
Hey... this is all made up of stars
Hey... we got magic in our hearts
Hey...

--
How This Ends

I watched you standing alone
Like all you had to offer was that long dark shadow
But your body can't contain all of your light
I saw it spilling out your fingertips and every tear you cried...

Do you understand
It's all smoke and mirrors, it's all a slight of hand
You can choose the way you want your dream
This world will open up it's not as solid as it seems

I can't tell you how this ends
I can't tell where I stop and where you begin
I dreamed you were alive
Just outside a darkened doorway crouched a woman with your eyes...

Out back behind the bar
A bottle in one hand I found you crying in the dark
All I could think to do was drag you down that tunnel and sing to you

Amazing grace how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost but now am found
Was blind but now I see, now I see

I can't tell you how this ends
I can't tell where I stop and where you begin
And our bodies can't contain all of our light
So it spills out from our fingertips and every tear we cry...

--
What Brings You Joy

Oh my most beautiful man
I have been melted by your hands
But there's something underneath your skin
I don't understand

And it may just be our age
I know we did not grow up the same
But what you plan to do with all that outrage

And I hear you making noise
Baby you can raise your voice
But I want to know what brings you joy

Oh... I thought you were too old to get this mad
Oh... and you think I'm too naive to feel this sadness

We've been living in the corner of this room
Scared that the rest is dark and gloom
They are just places we haven't let the light through

So help me get this fire stoked
Then you can shoot me your best joke
I'll show you what gives me hope

Oh... I thought you were too old to get this mad
Oh... and you think I'm too naive to feel this sadness

I can't argue with the facts
We just may blow ourselves to black
But all that I can do is change the way I act

So when it is my time to go
I hope I find a bed of stone
And die like a hero coming home

Oh... I thought you were too old to get this mad
Oh... and you think I'm too naive to feel this sadness....

--
All My Bags Are Packed

All my bags are packed I'm waiting for a train
All my bags are packed I'm sitting in this greyhound station
I am looking out the window, for the council the sky gives
I'm going back to Virginia where my mother is
Where my mother is, my mother is dying

All my bags are packed I kiss her on the forehead
All my bags are packed she is tiny in that hospital bed
We are through with all our fighting, she smiles and she looks tired
She is afraid of dying and I can't help her
I can't help her, I can't help her

All my bags are packed I'm back in this old house
All my bags are packed in these photos we have the same mouth
There was no time to get old, and have children of my own
And understand why she chose to make this her home
To make this home, she made me her home

Daughter, Sister, Mother carved in stone
She is in a list of names of those with Cancer of the bone
And the man in black says what they always say
Dearly beloved we are gathered here today to celebrate this life
This life, this life

All my bags are packed I'm waiting for a train
All my bags are packed I'm sitting in this greyhound station
I am looking out the window, for the council the sky gives
I'm leaving Virginia where my mother lived
Where my mother lived, where my mother lived her whole life....

--
I Know You

We met in the desert, in a country that's not mine
You with your dark eyes and that long strong jaw line
But I know you, I know you, I know you from far away
I can see that you know me, but you ain't gonna say it

We go exploring through ruins of the old mines
They ain't got no guardrails here so we crawl up and drop rocks inside
It's a long time, it's a long time, before we hear them make a sound
And you look at me and touch my cheek and say my name out loud

And I know you, and I know you since forever
I know you from afar
And I know you, and I know you since forever
I know you from afar

You read the paper, my head rests on your thighs
You start talking politics and I close your mouth with mine
And the light in me is burning, it's brighter than the sun
It is feeding off the light in you, they want so badly to be one

And I know you, and I know you since forever
I know you from afar
And I know you, and I know you since forever
I know you from afar

I cross the border, I cross over eight state lines
I see the same strip malls but I'm seeing them through your eyes
And I love you, I love you, but I will not bring you with me
You will not leave the desert so you visit me in dreams

And I know you, and I know you since forever
I know you from afar
And I know you, and I know you since forever
I know you from afar....

--
Can I Love a Man the Way I Love a Mountain

The day is over and I'm standing outside
Watching clouds drag their shadows cross the hillside
And the streets are all empty now, the kids have gone home
So I walk the gardens alone
I'm in love with the way I am touched by the wind
It is soft as a lover on my skin

And I don't cling at it or grasp at it or tell it how to change
I don't make up stories I don't beg it not to go away
Can people hold each other close and still feel free
To have that kind of love, you know I would let die part of me

Can I love a man the way I love a mountain
Can I love a man the way I love the sea
I let the beauty of a sunset break my heart a thousand times
And I keep coming back to feel it beat?
I keep coming back to feel my heart beat
Hey...

And I read about the raven and how it mates for life
And when one passes on, it isn't long,
You'll hear its fading cry
I have loved like that before but I did not die of grief
I learned the more I open up my heart the more I'm gonna bleed
(But it's a good thing my friend)

So I will take these broken wings
I'm gonna take these broken eyes
And take these broken wings and learn to fly, fly....

I want so bad to let you in this house
The way I run out in a storm and let the rain fall in my mouth
I've been holding up so scared to feel the pain
Oh but I still love the fire and I have
Been burned by the flame

Can I love a man the way I love a mountain
Can I love a man the way I love the sea
I let the beauty of a sunset break my heart a thousand times
And I keep coming back, I keep coming back, I keep coming back....

##
Love Me Like You Mean It (2008)

--
Shaky Ground

I'm thinking out loud and talking in circles without a pause
I am over stimulated, intoxicated by the applause
I've been stepping on land mines and running straight into things
Now I am broken down, I am broken up, and there's no one to save me.

I guess I'm taking it slow, I'm on shaky feet on shaky ground
I've got a lot more to know, about leaving a battlefields alone.

As the chaos subsides, I am sorting out lies I have come to believe
Oh my fingers are shaking as I rip the nail off with my teeth
I've got good friends around me, so close I could throw a stone
But I have trouble relating when I'm self-medicating and over exposed.

I guess I'm taking it slow, I'm on shaky feet on shaky ground
I've got a lot more to know, about leaving a battlefields alone.

Now I'm calling on God, I'm calling my doctor and nearly everyone I know
They all tell me the same thing, how it's the only way I'm gonna grow
Sometimes I believe it, still I am undone by everything small
Oh it's not for lack of blessings, I've got no lack of anything at all

I guess I'm taking it slow, I'm on shaky feet on shaky ground
I've got a lot more to know, about leaving battlefields alone.

Hallelujah...
Hallelujah...

--
Love Me Like You Mean It

You hold your cards in, and look away
I guess that means it's my turn
You hold me with fierceness and you pull away early
Like you're trying to keep yourself from getting burned

Love me like you mean it, like it's the only thing you need
I'm not holding back on you so don't you hold back on me

You can make my ears ring, baby, without making any sound
You creep up to the edge of saying something
Then you balk and you back down

Love me like you mean it, like it's the only thing you need
I'm not holding back on you so don't you hold back on me

Do you think you can save yourself, if this ship goes down?
If we start taking on water, we don't stick together
We're both going to drown. Down down down...
Now I don't want to hear a promise
Cause everything that comes to pass will end
Can you love a shoreline, with ever shifting sands?
Can you love this moment as it's slipping through your hands?

Love me like you mean it, like it's the only thing you need
I'm not holding back, I'm not holding back on you so don't you hold back on me
I'm not holding back, so don't you hold back on me

--
Happier Now

My lips are thin but they're mine
My legs are not so thin but they work just fine
So I'm through thinking about what I lack
I've felt such relief ever since I cut myself some slack

I AM happier now -- want to scream it in the sunshine, even when the rain
 Pours down
I AM happier now -- only thing that changed is I give thanks for
 Everything around me...
Everything around

I used to blame my mom and dad
How they didn't really see me, how they didn't see my sadness
They tried hard but I still felt all this pain
My childhood wasn't perfect, truth is ain't no such thing

I AM happier now -- want to scream it in the sunshine, even when the rain
 Falls down
I AM happier now -- only thing that changed is I give thanks for
 Everyone around me...
Everyone around

For a long time I lived in fear
Oh that you might come to know me, not just how I appeared
But you loved me through my darkest night so black
And once I let it in, I couldn't help but turn and love you back

I AM happier now -- want to scream it in the sunshine, even when the rain
 Pours down
I AM happier now -- only thing that changed, I felt your faith that I
 Would come around
And I have come around

I am, I am, I am, and I am, I am... aieee... oh...

--
Write a Letter

I would write you a letter, one hundred pages long
I would knit you a sweater, so you could see the time I spent on it
I would make you five dozen cookies, all your favorite kinds
I would wrap them up and send them as fast as I could
So you would get them in time

I don't know why we don't work. I don't know why we don't work.
I don't know why we're still hurting, and why we keep trying long
After it stopped working. It stopped working

I would save you the last dance, I would trip myself to see you smile
I would give this one last chance
If either one of us thought it worthwhile
I would help you sort through the furniture, but I think I'd be in the way
I can't sleep 'cause I miss you, but I'm weak when I'm with you
And I can't say what you want me to say

I don't know why we don't work. I don't know why we don't work.
I don't know why we're still hurting, why we keep trying long
After it stopped working. It stopped working

I would write you that love song, you would finally know how I care
See I was your comfort, but we were both scared, you were my
Everything and this is my prayer

I don't know why we don't work. I don't know why we don't work.
I don't know why we're still hurting, why we keep trying long
After it stopped working. It stopped working.

--
Tonight

Tough little girl, I am quick to throw it back
You like giving me hell just to see me react
You're always surprised when I take it to heart
You ask, "Why's that piece of your mind not connect to the other part?"
I giggle at the things that I might fool this hotel on
I could sneak out a cracker, they wouldn't know that it was gone
You say, "You're like a little kid in the way that you think"
And I am put off, because I don't get it's a good thing

Tonight I am waiting. Tonight I am waiting
Tonight I am waiting for something in my head to change

I trip on my guitar case and your laughter breaks the ice
We crawl into bed like children under dim fluorescent lights
I am curled up on the other side of this big wide bed
And I wish I had the guts to reach out for your hand

Tonight I am waiting. Tonight I am waiting
Tonight I am waiting for something in my head to change

What I learn about myself is I feel solid as a friend
When I am worried you won't like me, I am so quick on the defense
What I learn about myself is I tell you things that make me cry
When I think you're going to kiss me, I won't look you in the eye,
 won't look you in the eye.
I empty my head out, and you just laugh and shrug
So I sleep on my side, but I dream we made love
And then in the morning I didn't want you to leave and I feel crazy
But I guess I'm not as grown up as I seem. I feel crazy
I guess I'm not as grown-up as I try to be

Tonight I am waiting. Tonight I am waiting
Tonight I am waiting for something in my head to change

Tonight I am waiting. Tonight I am waiting
Tonight I am waiting for something in my head to change

--
Great Ocean

Highway 20 all the truck stops look the same
The signs are flashing apple pie and propane
I have driven seven hours today and I still got four to go
I'm writing on the dashboard and taking pictures out the window

They say these mountains will break and they'll fall
Even the desert gets cold when the night falls
When I'm running out of places to hide
Oh great ocean you are fearless and wide

I come to the choir with no part to sing
I come to the feast, but my hands are empty
Do you have a firelight to keep the darkness out?
Through all of this noise, do you hear me shouting?

They say these mountains will break and they'll fall
Even the desert gets cold when the night calls
When I'm running out of places to hide
Oh great ocean you are fearless and wide

Just when I stop to cast off my losses
The telephone poles march onward like crosses
I don't know where to but I know I am being led on
This heart is a hundred thousand lifetimes strong

They say these mountains will break and they'll fall
Even the desert gets cold when the night calls
When I'm running out of places to hide
Oh great ocean you are fearless and wide
And oh great ocean, oh great ocean.

--
In the Snow

It's getting on late in the winter, now I feel like I don't want to go
Cause I like the way you look me in the eye
And the way the mountains look in the snow

When we're walking down the street, we take the same length stride
You put your arm over my shoulder and say --
You're the perfect size, but it could never be this way
Cause what would people say -- then you take it back
Cause with a few more months, we would have been great

We were sitting on two big rubber balls
When I stuttered out -- I like being around you --

You got shifty-eyed and said --
I know that this is comfortable -- and I said -- no
I really like being around you
I stick my lower lip out, trying to look like some puppy all alone
How can you stand there and not want to take me home
But I guess you have more baggage than I fully understand and you said --
Take me off that pedestal, I'm just a simple man. --

We are siting on two big rubber balls, and I ask
Do you mind when I hang around you?

You said you must know how I feel, but you're a complicated deal and
I say fine, I still want to hang around you
Is this crazy, will you think it strange if I write letters?
You have changed me and I want to know you better

It's getting on late in the winter, now I feel like I don't want to go
Cause I like the way you look me in the eye
And the way the mountains look in the snow....

--
Good Mother

Would you understand me if I could not speak?
Would you feed me supper if I got too weak?
Would you drive six hours just to watch me sit and stare?
If I got to that point would I even care, would I even care?

What is the essence of this soul, when the years have taken their toll?
I am afraid trapped in this broken mind
And all you can do is just be kind to me. Be kind....

If I looked right through you would you still know that I'm there?
If I lost my footing would you help me up the stair?
Would you lead me back to bed if I wandered in the night?
And if they came to take me from you would I put up a good fight?...

What is the essence of this heart?
Love is the only thing I take into the dark
And I am alone trapped in this broken mind
And all you can do is just be kind to me. Be kind....

Would you know my grandkids, about the way I used to be?
Would you know my children, you all carry part of me?
Would you know my husband, you're the true love of my life?
Would I rest in knowing I was a good mother and good wife?...

What is the essence of this life?
Can you feel the joy beneath that cutting knife?
I see you scared trapped in those pretty working minds
And all we can do is just be kind. Be kind....

--
Playing for Keeps

I first saw you smile, when you came to hear me sing
I'd been watching you for a while, you finally saw me

You said you'd drive me home, we wound up in your bed
You asked me what I wanted, and I just shook my head

I don't pretend that we are playing for keeps but I hold on
You showed me, how badly, how badly my body wants to love someone

Ohh...

what am I to you, what are you to me
I don't hardly know you but I'm giving you my body

I told you I was afraid, then we fell asleep
And somehow in the morning it still feels like you love me

I don't pretend that we are playing for keeps but I hold on
You showed me how badly, how badly my body wants to love someone

Ohh...

You kiss me on the face, you're wanting me to speak
You don't let me look away so you feel me getting weak

You can watch me cry, I will hold my words
My eyes will tell the story of all my past lovers, lovers

... And how I am holding on...
You showed me how badly, how badly my body wants to love someone

Ohh...
Ohh...

--
Real Anymore

In the beginning there was the one
There was no difference between the self, the earth, the sun
The moment it spoke its own name
The moment it said "I am" the one became afraid

And then the one became two
The two became the many, and it was me and him and you
We got suspicious of our brother
Became branches on a tree, fighting amongst each other

What do you see when the veil is taken off
What do you see when the great whale has been caught
I lost my taste for keeping score, I don't know what's real anymore

I am this body but I'm not, I am a walking paradox
It don't matter if it makes sense to my mind
Cause the price of admission is nobody gets out alive

What do you see when the veil is taken off
What do you see when the great whale has been caught
I lost my taste for keeping score, I don't know what's real anymore

What if it's not your story, what if it's not mine
What if it's just the story of everything inside and outside
So while we stand around defending ourselves
We are missing the heart of it and shutting out everyone else

What do you see when the veil is taken off
What do you see when the great whale has been caught
I lost my taste for keeping score, I don't know what's real anymore
I don't know what's real, I don't know what's real
I don't know what's real anymore

--
Hello Fear

Hello envy, welcome in, I'm tired of fighting you my fickle friend
You confound me but you're there just the same
Every time I bury you, you pop up in my face again

Hello craving, pounding on my door
I can scream back until my head gets sore
But it makes you stronger, and it bleeds me dry
And it sets me up for feeling like a failure every night

Ohh...

Hello loneliness, you're no fun. But I'm gonna let you
run your course from now on. Oh this sadness, oh this pain
I think I'll be facing you over and over and over and over again

Hey...

Hello happiness, hello joy. I've been clinging on to you like
my favorite toy. But the longer I chase you, the longer you evade
And the more I hoard you to myself the more you slip away

Hey...

Hello Fear. You've always been here
My guess is you will stay forever

--
Stars

Tonight I met an angel
He sang and hovered near
With his fingers on my eyelids
Oh Love I disappear
I am freedom, I am lightness
I am scared for him to go
Then he whispers "I can't tell you anything,
You don't already know"

Hey, hey, this is all made up of stars
Hey, hey, we got magic in our hearts

Across Kentucky, across my country
I cross my hand over my chest
And the signposts, they point to everything
I'm looking east and drifting west

Hey, hey, this is all made up of stars
Hey, hey, we got magic in our hearts
Hey, hey...

When the storm hits, and the sky splits
And the waves come crashing down
You have your moment in the mystic
You have the music in your mouth

Hey, hey, this is all made up of stars
Hey, hey, we got magic in our hearts
Hey, hey, this is all made up of stars
Hey, hey, we got magic in our hearts
Hey, oh...
Hey...

##
Goodnight Moonshine

--
Work I Done (Venter)

I used to sail a merchant ship. I used to run an army outfit.
I used to build red brick walls. I used to run a cattle call.

I used to build the tracks out west, I used to drive a team of horses.
I used to work a mighty crane. I used to drive a whistle steam train.

Whose to keep the work I done
and where do i go now?

I used to be a king of men. It used to matter what I thought and said.
I used to drive the hammer in, I used to have hands that listened.

I used to see my shadow tall, I used to feel my heartbeat strong
now I only hear the night bird call.

--
All Our Friends (Venter/Pariser)

Down in the village we were listening to a band
just before the second chorus you reached out for my hand.
It all started quiet stealing kisses hiding out
All our friends are here now. All our friends are here now.

Put on your blue jeans, stuff your money in a sock
we ride the A train, take the bicycles to Montauk.
We fly over the ocean no one knows us in these crowds
But all our friends are here now. All our friends are here now.

We moved on upstate out where we could see the stars
we paint this old house we plant peppers in the yard.
The city was noisy but I sometimes miss the sounds
So all our friends are here now. All our friends are here now.

--
Big Enough (Pariser/Venter)

There could never be a song, big enough
There could never be a prayer, loud enough
to compare, with just one draw
of your breath, just one glimpse in your eyes

There could never be a night, long enough
There could never be a sea, wide enough
to prepare, this beating heart
for all this blue, all the hours needing you

If there ever was a dream, wild enough
I could never have believed, I would find this love
Let me fly, from buildings tall
Let me go, please don't try to break my fall

--
Gasoline (Venter)

You kept your family waiting thanksgiving dinner
I made a plate of food and walked outside
You passed me a paper cup of gasoline and I threw it on the fire,
 I threw it on the fire

I know you think that talk is not enough
I can't keep my mind made up
I held you in the full moon as your best friend
I was ready to give my whole life then

I want you to understand me even when I hurt your feelings
I don't extend the same to you when you hurt mine.
Maybe I quit hoping you'd grow more revealing, now
you think I got no spine, you think I got no spine,
 you think I got no spine

I hear you baby, I hear you baby,
I hear you baby so what you wanna do
I hear you baby, I hear you baby,
I hear you baby and I am sorry too.

You keep me at arms length to stay protected
I do things I know will make you mad
Will we ever give up and love braver than we ever have,
 than we ever have

I know you think that talk is not enough
I can't keep my mind made up
I held you in the full moon as your best friend
I was ready to give my whole life then
I was ready to give my whole life then

I hear you baby, I hear you baby,
I hear you baby so what you wanna do
I hear you baby, I hear you baby,
I hear you baby and I am sorry too
I'm sorry too I'm sorry too

--
Goodnight Moonshine (Venter)

Remember my love, we first left the harbor
you were humming a tune as we sailed out farther.
And your voice filtered in like a westerly wind
and I loved you.

We drew in the main, moved up the coast line
we drifted and swayed, we had so much time.
We were never so young, we were never so hopeful as then.

Sky's growing dark, cold wind upon us
Sea opens up, storm clouds are on us.
There's nothing so precious
or hard as letting you go.

Be still my love, I need to thank you
my time it has come, night's fallen too soon
As I sink like a stone into waters below
how I need you.

Sky's growing dark, cold wind upon us
Sea opens up, storm clouds are on us.
There's nothing so precious
or hard as letting you go.

Goodnight my love, sky is a deep blue
the moonshine above, softly to reach you
You were never so young I was never so warm with your touch
We were never so young
I was never so grateful to love you

--
End of the World Blues (Pariser)

Lost my job, quarter of four
Came back home and standing at my front door
Two little ladies want to tell me ?bout the end of the world

Said no thank you, but it wasn't enough
They hung around asking me to discuss
So I told ?em what I think about the end of the world.

I'm gonna take the Mississippi down to New Orleans
Put down my burden, wash my troubles all away in the breeze
I'm gonna sit in Louisiana til, kingdom come,
Ain't gonna worry ?bout the end of the world

Wife ran out, she's still runnin'
Turn on the news they're saying doomsday is comin'
They wanna push me to get ready for the end of the world

Well I know one thing when all is, said and done
If you're waitin' on the doomsday then it surely will come
Don't try to save me til you really know to save yourself

We gonna take the Mississippi down to New Orleans
Put down our burden, wash our troubles all away in the breeze
We gonna sit in Louisiana til, kingdom come,
Ain't gonna worry ?bout the end of the world

We gonna drive this train til the end of the line
And we ain't gettin' off until we feel the sun shine
Put our feet in the sand and finally, make a stand
Ain't gonna worry ?bout the end of the world
Ain't gonna think about the end of the world
Don't talk to me about the end of the world.

--
Willow Tree (Pariser/Venter)

I was born underneath the weeping willow tree
that is where I swore my love to thee.
I was born underneath the weeping willow tree
the only thing I know for certain is someday I'll be free.

Innocent as first light of the morning
we swore our hearts together with a kiss
You were down on bended knee and underneath that willow tree
I was delivered from my loneliness.

Eager as the summer buds to flower
we planned and dreamed of seasons yet to come
and underneath that willow tree we raised ourselves a family
years flew by but days went on and on.

I was born underneath the weeping willow tree
that is where I swore my love to thee.
I was born underneath the weeping willow tree
the only thing I know for certain is someday I'll be free.

Sudden as a cold front in September
a sleep came on from which you did not wake
I laid your body finally beneath that weeping willow tree
in my dreams I reach out for your face.

I was born underneath the weeping willow tree
that is where I swore my love to thee.
I was born underneath the weeping willow tree
the only thing I know for certain is someday I'll be free.

--
Walking After Midnight (lyrics by Alan Block and Donn Hecht,
 originally recorded by Patsy Cline)

I go out walking after midnight
Out in the moonlight just like we used to do
I'm always walking after midnight searching for you
I walk for miles along the highway
Well that's just my way of saying I love you
I'm always walking after midnight searching for you
I stopped to see a weeping willow
Crying on his pillow maybe he's crying for me
And as the skies turn gloomy
Night winds whisper to me I'm lonesome as I can be
I go out walking after midnight out in the starlight
Just hoping you maybe somewhere walking after midnight searching for me
I stopped to see a weeping willow
Crying on his pillow maybe he's crying for me
And as the skies turn gloomy
Night winds whisper to me I'm lonesome as I can be
I go walking after midnight out in the starlight
Just hoping you maybe somewhere walking after midnight searching for me

--
Light at the End of the Day (Venter/Pariser)

Standing out back, watching him pack
the last of his bags in the trunk
He left you there on the cracked concrete stair
he never found time to fix up.

Water is cloudy follow it back to the hills
where it's easier to find where the river runs
clear, you can hear
and old voice saying there ain't no mistakes.
Somehow, you're home now.
Light at the end of the day

Sweet wayward child, she loved you wild
you grew in the shape of her song
She crept in one night, kissed you goodbye
you never knew why she was gone.

Sky is cloudy, take the long path to the sea
where it's easier to breathe in the air where it's
clear, you can hear
your own voice saying there ain't no mistakes.
Somehow, you're home now.
Light at the end of the day

--
Dark Side of the Rainbow (Pariser)
Eben Pariser's mash-up of "Time" by Pink Floyd, with "Over the
 Rainbow" from the Wizard of Oz

--
Winston-Salem (Venter)

There's one last dying smoke stack in this old tobacco town
people sit on doorsteps they are friendly and they're proud.
There are painted advertisements on the red brick factories.
There is dogma in the shadows and ghosts walking the street. Hey?

The sound of devil music is coming out through open doors
two women ask the bartender for heavy handed pours.
And the man who walks so quiet is an acrobat onstage
He is calling up the demons as he blows smoke in your face. Hey?

He's singing who? who? who carried you?

I walk down to the corner, step over the chain link
where the weeds have taken over they have buckled the concrete.
Will you love me when I'm faithless, would you hold us when we fall
do you think that we can make it when there' stains on every wall. Hey...

Douglas Brick / dbrick@speakeasy.net
Sun Sep 24 21:25:16 PDT 2017